falling....

couldn't take it anymore........ i called out... u didn't come...now i'm left dangling here...by a thread... staring down into oblivion..... waiting for it 2 consume me.... the darkness creeps skyward slowly.... i brace myself .... i shut my eyes.... clear my mind... and soon.....

a teardrop rolls down my cheek and drops off into the eternal darkness.... i reach out...... not wanting such purity to be consumed by the darkness.... it falls out of my reach and i see the tiny droplet fade away........

I look down.... the darkness continues creeping up.... and strangely.... i smile.....

The darkness is only a few seconds away...10....9.....8...7...6...5...4....3....2.....1....

It stopped.....

I let out a scream of frustration and anger..... and i look down once more....... the darkness seems to be mocking me.... laughing ever so wickedly...... One more scream.... this one even more louder and painful the first one..... I start tearing again......... try to control my emotions for a few more seconds......but i can't....... i break down......

No more tears to cry..... no more screams left in me......

no more emotions...

Then .... i remember.... the knife...
i reach backwards.... and i feel something sticking out of my back and i yank it out....
pain shoots up my spine but some how... i'm unable to wince... unable to scream....
After all these years.... i thought it was gone... i thought the wound had healed... but i guess i never really bothered... i just pretended it never happened....

I look down on last time... the darkness remains stationary......
I look up... the thin black thread stretches on as far as the eye can see....
I consider waiting...maybe u'll come..... maybe u'll save me.... maybe things will turn out fine...
NO.. no more illusions....


I shut my eyes ........
and with the bloody blade... i cut the thread........